For the Most Part

For the Most Part

The strong front is not pretence,
it is real, it is a wise mind, in light.
But, it is not all, there is another part.
Because the heart remains a child,
and cries, in dark.

I wrote this poem about a month ago. The content had been milling about in me for some time, and finally came out. The nuance of thought that comes, a kind of doublethink. Knowing and feeling one thing, while also knowing and feeling another quite contradictory thing. I admit to subscribing to the “stiff upper lip” school of thought, I don’t like others to see my emotions or troubles. I also, for the most part, truly believe that regardless of what I am going through, that ultimately it will be fine and that bad times come and go. FOR THE MOST PART, because there is a little part (the child), that despite truly believing it will work out, doesn’t like the process and the pain involved.

Let’s leave me and explore words a little.
Doublethink: In the novel Nineteen Eighty-Four, doublethink is the act of simultaneously accepting as correct two mutually contradictory beliefs. It is related to, but distinct from, hypocrisy and neutrality. Its opposite is Cognitive Dissonance, where the two beliefs cause conflict in one's mind.

In spite of - used to express the idea of contrast, is used as a preposition. In spite of + noun means almost same as although + clause.
e.g - We went out in spite of the rain. ( = .... although it was raining.
e.g - He is a good company in spite of the fact that he talks all the time.

Note - In formal English, despite can be used in the same way as in spite of.
e.g
Sita went on working in spite of feeling unwell.-- Correct
Sita went on working despite feeling unwell.-- Correct

A Crystal Carrot

crystalline carrot
a perfect taper
plucked from a snowy roof
crunch, crunch
mouth melting, unforming.

A few weeks ago I was cross country skiing with a friend. At the point where we decided to turn around was a little out-building with icicles hanging from the eves. It had been ages since I had eaten an icicle. I had forgotten the pleasure of holding that "crystal carrot" and sucking and chomping on it. It was a surprise, especially since I am not a fan of the icecube.

As for my poems, they are usually short little things. The reasons are these: 1) I like succinctness (I wanted to use the word succinctity, but I find it isn't a "real" word), 2) I think long poems become tedious and I certainly stop reading after the first several stanzas, 3) That is the way they come out of me.

Urban Ocean

Urban Ocean

In the early morning I wake to whale songs.
Ne, straining sounds of garbage truck.
The street leviathan’s hydraulic call.
A dorsum baleen packer blade scrapes to hopper,
feeding on plankton of lives.

True story, it has happened twice now. I wake to oceanic whale calls and it is only the garbage truck picking up the apartment complex’s rubbish.

Compare these sound bites:

http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=18769
http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=82325

Plankton are defined by their ecological niche rather than their phylogenetic or taxonomic classification.

An 'other' Country

My sister passed away a few months ago. When I describe how I look at it, it is like in the olden days, if someone left to homestead or settle a new place, there was no way to keep in contact, you may or may not have been able to send and receive letters. I feel that way about my sister Gayle, that she has gone to settle a new place, I won’t see her again in this life, but she has just gone to a new place. And that like the olden days, the best way to send word or a letter was via someone traveling into the same territory.

Last week we learned that my Grandfather was ailing. His readying to pass has been on my mind. My sister and brother visited him yesterday.

I wrote this poem this morning, and by noon had received word that my Grandfather had passed away during the night. Adieu, and give our regards to Gayle.


A One Way Communiqué.

A metered mass migration to an ‘other’ country,
pioneers all to this new frontier.
My sister is there, Grandpa readying to go.
Julie says, “tell her we love and miss her”.
He says, “I will ....”, and the rest is lost.
No letters or photos will come back,
a one-way communiqué.


I am trying to come up with a good way to say this ‘other’ country, to express heaven, without getting confusing. I don’t think ‘other’ country does the job, but is the best I can think of. ‘The farthest country’? ‘The hidden country’?

Blue Moon, Did You See Me Standing Alone?

A blue moon is a full moon that is not timed to the regular monthly pattern. Most years have twelve full moons which occur approximately monthly, but in addition to those twelve full lunar cycles, each solar calendar year contains an excess of roughly eleven days compared to the lunar year. The extra days accumulate, so that every two or three years (on average about every 2.7154 years), there is an extra full moon. The extra moon is called a "blue moon."

full moon, blue moon, oh
glowing soft cool light on me
my pagan heart keens

New Year's Eve 12/31/2009 was both a full moon, AND a blue moon. Such an auspicious omen. I wanted to be out in it. I wanted to be bathed in its celestial light. Two friends were willing and so we went snow shoeing up Millcreek Canyon. It is the only way to greet a new year in my opinion. So stunningly beautiful.

I love full moons, and blue moons are even more wonderful iterations of full moons. Really, I could puke I get so excited about it.

Blue Moon
You saw me standing alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own

Blue Moon
You knew just what I was there for
You heard me saying a prayer for
Someone I really could care for

And then there suddenly appeared before me
The only one my arms will (ever) hold
I heard somebody whisper please adore me
And when I looked to the Moon it turned to gold

Blue Moon
Now I'm no longer alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own
2010 is going to be a good year for me, I just know it!

Bon Hiver

“Bon hiver” (pronounced "bohn eevair") means “good winter” in French and is a greeting for the day on which the first snow falls that sticks on the ground and begins the annual white build up for winter. I need to get outside more to make it a good winter.

Last night to celebrate the Winter Solstice a new friend got a small group together to go snowshoeing up one of the cottonwood canyons (nope, I didn’t even notice which one). The moon was still only a waxing crescent, but with the snow reflecting light we didn’t even need headlamps.

Highlights:

1) Hiking alone for a portion and having a ‘Joe Versus the Volcano’ moment of, “Dear God, ... thank you for my life. I forgot how big... Thank you”. Then I shed some tears as I was grateful for my (recently deceased) sister’s life too.

2) Toasting the solstice with a tasty drink, chocolate coated figs from Spain, and a reading.

3) A desperate and nearly futile attempt to light matches/mini bon-fire to summon back the sun and light. What a debacle, it was meant to be poetic and magical.

Banquette Seating

Main Entry: ban·quette
Pronunciation: \baŋ-ˈket, ban-, 1b is also ˈbaŋ-kət\
Function: noun
Etymology: French, from Middle French, from Old Occitan banqueta, diminutive of banc bench, of Germanic origin; akin to Old English benc bench.

a) : a long upholstered bench b) : a sofa having one roll-over arm c) : a built-in usually upholstered bench along a wall

I love this lesson in etiquette. This is taken directly, or almost so, from Emily Post's book. I think this is information most of us do not know and would benefit from.

When at a restaurant with banquette seating and a long table, two people dining together are seated side by side against the wall.

At a narrower table, two diners, who might other wise be seated side by side, are seated opposite each other. The lady would be seated on the banquette with the gentleman facing her.

If there are four, the women are seated on the banquette and the men face them across the table.

In a restaurant with booths, the women go in first and sit against the far wall, facing each other across the table. The men then sit next to them on the outside.

If a woman and two men are lunching or dining, the woman takes her place first against the wall. If one of the men is related to her, he sits across from her, and the one not related sits beside her. If this grouping is reversed, the two ladies sit next to the wall, and the man who is the husband of one sits beside the other.

I think this is because the banquette seating provides the better view of the surroundings, and is usually more comfortable. On one of the worst dates of my life, the fellow (let's call him David (I think that was his name)) took me to a little Italian place in Ocean Beach (I was living in San Diego at the time). I had a nice view out of the window onto the lovely environs of O.B. I commented on this, "my having a better view than him", to which he responded, looking meaningfully into my eyes, that "actually he had the better view, because he could see me". hahahaha.... ok, had I actually fancied the fellow, then maybe, MAYBE, that wouldn't have been the cheesiest line EVER! But, only maybe. I have a low tolerance for ostentatious OR premature sentimentality.